Guess what?It is December already. Time really goes sooo fast as I grow older. All of the great moments in my life, which most of them were happening on the last year of senior high school (and of course, till now and then). All of the people, friends, best friends, crazy friends I met, laughs, jokes, annoying moments, and enthusiasm of starting college life in the different city. It feels like it just happened yesterday, yeah, just the day before I write this post.
This is just too damn fast and I can't do anything about it.
This is just too fast, yet I haven't really achieved anything during my first year and half, in almost every aspect of my life, and of course, my study.
And somehow, since I started college life, at first, I became interesting at almost everything I see. I see great peoples, I see their achievements, I see how great they are in leading organization, or movements. It was like "I should become one of them, someday, during my college year."
But as day goes by, I got involved in smaller activities, group of people, in order to initiate my step to reach those goals. But I got bored soon, like when it almost reaches the end of those activities.
Then I want to be more independent but I don't want to be apathetic too, so I decide not to play a big role in some events or activities. I haven't found something that really interest me except the medical studies itself, or maybe I have found something interesting but I have no interest in reaching it by the way/requirements it provides.
Then yeah it finally reaches the end of 2014 and I don't know what I actually really need or have to do to get some amazing experiences during my college years, cos I don't want to lost my chances to feel the greatness of college life just because I still can't get moved on from the joys of my previous life. That's all.
I try to overcome it, in not really a completely right way. I call it the art of skipping the days. I know this is not really a good idea, it means I have failed in the first place, in managing my time and my chances to get achievement. But somehow I don't want to make this uneasiness last for too long, and I don't think I'm ready to sink myself deeper in what so called medical research or whatever it is, I still have nothing, and maybe understand nothing....and finally, nothing really comes to me so far. That's why, sometimes I just want to end the day soon, sleep at 8 PM and continue the routines in the same manner. Hoping that the day I can reach my goal may come sooner. While I know it won't happen that easy, so childish tbh haha !@#$%^& and it makes everything goes faster that expected.
But I try to be always positive. Hmm, like trying to be happy all the time and and I learn not to see things in only 2 view of points (right or wrong)y, and also trying to have a lot of fun times with friends here and don't get disappointed so easily whenever things and people don't meet any of my expectation, because basically I'm just skipping the days :)
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| Having fun around with friends |
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| Together |
and I learn not to see things in only right or wrong manner, there's always things in between..
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But however I'm so grateful for everything, whenever I rethink about what I've got and what I've done, there is just nothing to regret. While I haven't achieved anything, it just feels really peaceful lately because nothing really bonds me lately, although it is kind of boring but this is what I already planned. So, it's time to start again and I hope there will be a lot of wonderful things and amazing new experiences after this!
See you so soon!
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| Let's start over the journey |
