Have you ever felt..like you wish you'd never met somebody because you feel so uneasy when that somebody is/(are) not around?

It's stoopid but it's true..

I have always been anticipating from this feeling, and also these kind of thoughts.
But it cant be helped..it happens again and i dont know how to overcome it.

Like..it's funny that memories of some people are really stuck in the head for a while, and in the other hand I don't even know if they also have the same thoughts as I do. It's bugging my head you know. Haha

I really hate this condition because I think it is just unnecessary, when it happens too much.

Hope everything is going well after this, and so does everybody. And hope time's gonna heal everything..

#gajelas

2018's superduper thought

Akhirnya iseng buka blog, dan melihat seluruuh tulisan gw sampe postingan tahun 2013-an yang superduper curhat, dan gw merasa superduper pengen balik lagi ke kehidupan gw seperti yang dulu (i mean how I live my life) tapi itu superduper ga mungkin juga.

Sekarang ini gw sedang koas (magang kalau kuliah kedokteran) dan inilah fakta yang paling mencengangkan bahwa koas bisa merubah segalanya. Life so far goes well, cuman setelah gw baca postingan2 gw dulu2, rasanya telah banyak banget yang berubah dari seluruh aspek diri gw, dan disitu gw merasa sedih. Mungkin menurut gw banyak banget perubahan yang sebetulnya kurang baik kalau dipikir2, ga tahu juga sih. Setelah banyak hal yang gw lihat, obrolan yang terjalin, rasanya gw itu superduper naif banget sebelum ini. Mungkin poin2 yang mau gw ceritain sekarang

KOAS

Mohon doanya sangat untuk koas ini bener2 masa2 paling sesuatu banget ya, kalau diinget jaman2 preklinik (kuliah di kampus) itu superduper ga ada apa-apanya bangettttt, dan emang intinya kuliah kedokteran itu mungkin ya koas ini. Lantas kadang gw berpikir kenapa kayaknya gw sok sok an sibuk banget pas dulu, padahal mungkin seharusnya gw bisa meluangkan lebih banyak waktu buat main sama temen2 kuliah yang bahkan sekarang pun susah banget buat ngumpul bareng gara-gara koas dan kesibukan masing-masing lainnya. Gw gak mau cerita pengalaman kedokteran selama koas, mungkin paling enak ngebahas dinamika kehidupan yang terjadi selama koas. Yak.. 

-koas itu ketika lu...melihat teman main lu main sama teman yang lain, dan gw...main sama temannya teman juga hahaha--->hal ini gak bisa dipungkiri karena kelompok koas diacak superduper random oleh yang berwenang, dan kita bakal ngelewatin suka duka bareng sama kelompok-kelompok ini, nah dari situlah biasanya chemistry dalam masing2 kelompok2 tsb. tumbuh

-koas itu ketika...jadwal libur lu udah gak sama lagi kayak kalender akademik kampus/libur pada umumnya, sehingga akan sangat sulit sekali untuk menyesuaikan jadwal dengan keluarga, bahkan sesama koas pun kalau mau liburan bareng ngerencanain nya susah banget...hmm

-koas itu ketika...lu tau sifat asli teman-teman koas lu, ya..gak bisa dipungkiri juga kalau sifat asli gw mungkin keluar juga selama koas, ntahlah bagaimana wujudnya. Tp buat hal ini gw ga mau bahas karena setiap orang pasti punya sisi + dan -.

-koas itu ketika...waktu kumpul sama teman2 betul2 gw usahain banget, Kalau gw pikir2, mana pernah gw keluar malem selama SMA kecuali bener2 hal urgent/hal yang seru banget...lalu masuklah kuliah preklinik, ya keluar malam buat makan malam dan ngobrol2 bentar, kalau bisa pilih "me time" atau keluar rame2, gw bahkan lebih milih me time kali, tapi sejak koas,...kayaknya gw rela ampe dini hari cmn buat ngobrol2 walaupun bahasannya seputar keluh kesah keseharian koas aja, bisa ngobrol sampai berjam-jam. Walaupun akan jaga, atau seusai jaga...ah mending/ngobrol main sama temen.. Mungkin ini bakal jadi masa-masa yang gw rindukan

-koas itu...sudah merubah banyak aspek dari kehidupan gw yang bahkan gw pun gak tahu apa aja yang berubah, semua terjadi karena proses adaptasi juga kali ya

dan banyak hal lainnya yang gak bisa gw ceritakan

KOTA MALANG

Dulu kayaknya pernah ngeposting betapa homesicknya gw dengan Bogor, kota tempat gw hidup 12 tahun-an, tapi sekarang gw udh betah banget di Malang, ntah lah, seperti yang gw bilang tadi--->dinamika kehidupan #eaa.

Mungkin gw bakal sedih banget nanti kalau gw udh lulus dan harus ninggalin Malang. Padahal gw udah ancang2 dari dulu supaya gw ga terlalu terbuai dengan indahnya masa kuliah, tapi yaa gimana, banyak hal terjadi, dan banyak momen2 penting terjadi terutama semenjak koas yang bikin..gw betul2 bersyukur kuliah disini, dan superduper ga pernah mikirin hal semacam "kalau aja gw kuliah disini atau disitu" seperti dulu...

Sedikit penyegaran ditengah2 koas, trip to Ijen & Menjangan

Trip Halal bi Halal ke Ijen

Trip ke Menjangan, Bali, yang superduper nanggung gak ada duanya

Dan intinya...gw sedang di penghujung masa studi kedokteran gw dan mohon doanya dari para pembaca kalau masih ada yang baca supaya gw bisa menjadi insan yang lebih baik setelah gw lulus kuliah dan bisa bermanfaat. Aamiin

Lombok Trip - Rain Will Never Stop Us (College)

Hello
Been a while since my last time had some trips with my college friends, everyone was so busy though, and when holiday comes, of course I wouldn't be in Malang.
But this time I went to Lombok with my college friends, and who are they?

Well, this time I went there with some of my classmates, been 2,5 years together actually. However, to be honest, I didn't feel really close to them, hmm... I mean, when I think about it, I barely hang out with some of them, but of course we do know each other and had some conversations in our spare time but mostly just daily talks, jokes, and random things.

Forget about it. One day I went for a dinner with some of those mentioned people and had conversation about holiday trip, and yes, to Lombok. He said, he has relatives that may help us there and of course, those topics about travelling always excite me. So I just went with the flow of the conversation and went home (not a home actually), I checked the flights to Lombok from Surabaya and it was not really expensive, well it is cheaper than flights from Malang to Jakarta.

So I decided to go, because I hadn't gone to far places with my college friends so far.

Then finally 8 of us went to Lombok for 6 days 5 night...

Actually I have been to Lombok around 5 years ago, I even posted about it on my blog here but I think that time my family and I didn't really have any idea about Lombok because it is far different from Bali.

But now, my friends and I explored more, we made our journey to explore some beautiful beaches in Lombok.  At first I thought it will be just usual and so-so beach visits but I was finally very stunned by the view from Bukit Marese in Tanjung Aan beach. The access to some beaches is not really good actually, but that was one of the most adventurous part of the trip, we even had to push the car together by our hand because of muddy road...

Got some problems with our car...

We went to Senggigi beach, Selong Belanak beach, Mawi beach, Mawun beach, Tanjung Aan beach, snorkeling in Gili Nanggu, and had Sate Rembiga, Ayam Taliwang, Plecing Kangkung, Beberuk, the traditional foods of Lombok. They are spicy and I REALLY LOVE THEM.

Sate Rembiga

The weather was sunny, but that was only in the first and the second day, the rest was rainy days

On our fourth day, we went to Gili Meno and stay there for a night. When we arrived there, we checked in to the hotel, it's in the seaside, put our belongings to our rooms, and.....heavy rain fell....and it was really quite in Gili Meno...but somehow we went to the beach....

never thought the trip would be like this, I thought we could enjoy the sunny day in Gili, I thought I could finish reading my novel, I thought I could just sleep on the rainy day...but that was just mere imaginations....

Gili Meno

We went SWIMMING in the SEA in the MIDST OF HEAVY RAIN!!
Of course, we were really desperate that time.
But I think, that was the most memorable moment for me in this trip, we were in the sea like an hour while it was raining heavily. Really enjoyed it...
In the night, around 7 PM, we had another crazy idea...due to our curiosity, we took a stroll, exploring Gili Meno by the seaside. It took around 1 hour to stroll around Gili Meno, there are cottages in the most of the seaside, so it was bright, but some are dark because there is nothing...It was quite scary, I was afraid it wasn't safe to stroll around in the night but finally we got back safely...

Then in the second day of staying in Gili Meno, we went snorkeling around Gili Meno and Gili Air and it was another cloudy day, rain would definitely come that day. The wave was high, the stream was quite strong, and not much amount of sunlight, but for me, the underwater view was still amazing.

Finally, after we went snorkeling, we moved to Gili Trawangan, because we needed a nightlife after spending a totally quiet night in Gili Meno.
There, it was raining heavily, we checked in to the hotel and put our belongings, had a rest. In the night, we went to local traditional market and bought some fishes to be grilled then we ate it in the hotel ...
So the last day was the most tiring, we slept earlier because the next day...the last day...had to leave Gili in the morning to the mainland, needed to buy some souvenirs and make sure to get to the airport on time.

and... that's all for this holiday

For me, the rain was what makes this trip so special. It doesn't matter that we cannot get good photoshoots during rainy, cloudy days, all that matters to me was the moments. Yes, I did really enjoy this trip, especially when we were swimming in the sea when it was heavily raining, especially when we explored Gili Meno in the darkness of night. Those moments were the best, I thought

And of course I will treasure other moments, when we had to deal with muddy road, the jokes, the taste of the LOCAL FOOD, and many other things that cannot be mentioned...

Well, after this, we will get back to our routines in college, we will be scattered again in the class, and I might not be always around you guys, and days will pass as it feels like nothing happened between us...

But it doesn't matter whatever we are doing and whoever we are hanging out with in the daily life, I really hope we can go on a trip together again next time, and of course, with more people

Bukit Marese-Tanjung Aan

thank you very much for a very wonderful trip!!
nb : no photos in Gili because it was raining...so there are just few of them